A Very Quiet Weekend

This weekend, I am home alone! Agghhhhhh!!!! (Picture hands on my face, an open mouth, and wide eyes.) Keith decided to take the girls to see his parents this weekend because Patrick had surgery last week & he wanted to help them out a bit. Since I was supposed to sing at church tomorrow, I figured I would stay home & enjoy a weekend by myself to hang out with friends, get some reading done, and catch up on sleep! Sounds great, right? Well unfortunately, my weekend got off to a little bit of a rough start because I came down with a cold yesterday & was dealing with that all day, while also trying to get the stuff ready for the trip, go grocery shopping, and keep the girls from getting totally bored at home while I stared into space on the couch. :) Keith ended up not getting home as early as he thought he would, so by the time he did roll in, I was actually looking forward to some time to myself!
After they left, the silence in the house was kind of overwhelming. It's really strange to go from constant noise to complete quiet, and I was a little surprised! Fortunately, I had a plan for that evening--to have dinner with my friend Melissa--so I was able to take a non-interrupted shower, curl my hair, and put my makeup on for as long as I wanted. Later Melissa & I went out to eat and had a lovely dinner & visit. Although my voice was pretty hoarse by this point, it was still really a fun evening, and it was nice to have something to do. Although I didn't sleep too well (I never do when Keith is gone, and the cold didn't help), I woke up when I wanted to, which was a good feeling. My voice is still really hoarse today, so I'm bummed that I won't be singing at church tomorrow. :( The good news is that I can still worship Him, even without a voice! My friend Kim said today that the one person we can talk to without a voice is our God, and that is a huge comfort!
I spent most of today in my pj's and robe, which wasn't my original intention, but I just didn't have the energy or the need to get dressed. (Sometimes those little luxuries are the ones that feel the nicest on a weekend like this!) Throughout the day I felt so strange to be sitting at the computer or watching TV without having to worry about Hannah or Gemma. All day I've felt like I heard one of them, and I keep thinking "I should be doing something..." It's amazing how ingrained my role as a mother & wife is at this point, after almost 7 years of marriage and 4+ years of parenthood!
Tonight I was going to hang out with my friend Angela, but since I've got this nasty cold, she didn't want to risk it. I don't blame her, but I was bummed to not be able to hang out. I had a few moments of loneliness and sadness, at which point I called Keith and promptly started crying. I was definitely feeling sorry for myself, and generally wondering why I had decided to stay home after all! The thing is, I know God had a plan for this weekend, and I am trusting this is what He wanted for me...quietness, rest, and the option to NOT do anything! After I got off the phone with Keith, I headed to Trader Joe's to get a few more groceries I didn't get yesterday. Well, as I told Keith later, shopping at Trader Joe's is my kind of therapy shopping, and it would be dangerous for me to go there a lot in a blue mood. :) I got lots of snacks, and I picked out a yummy salad & some sushi for my dinner. (I went really low-key & easy for food this weekend, which has been super enjoyable! I may not have felt great, but at least I didn't have to cook!)
Tonight I'm watching some episodes of The Office, relaxing in my pj's (again!), and I plan to go to bed somewhat early tonight. Since I haven't slept that well the last few nights and some of my stuffiness is finally starting to wear off, I'm hoping I can make up for some sleep tonight!
Overall, I think it's been an okay weekend. It hasn't been exactly what I had planned or anticipated, but God works in those moments when we think we know the plan. :) In my bible study homework this week, we're learning about the sovereignty of God, and I am really clinging to that promise this weekend!
Anyway, that's how it's been so far. I still plan to go to church tomorrow, and even if I can't sing, I will still be worshiping!
When Keith and the girls get home, I look forward to hearing about their weekend with Grandma & Grandpa, and I want to really focus on the fact that although it has been nice to have some peace & quiet this weekend, it will be so great to hear their talk and laughter tomorrow! :)