The parenting journey continues...(I guess it never really ends...)

I want to preface this post with the comment that although it may come across sounding somewhat negative about Hannah's behavior, I actually see some positive changes already, and my heartfelt prayer is that when Hannah is a well-adjusted, God-fearing teenager (and adult) who has strong values and morals, she can look back at posts like these and realize just how far she has grown & developed.
Lately I've been back to feeling frustrated and overwhelmed by this stage of Hannah's development. Her tantrums are "back" in full swing, and we're not even giving her much (if any) sugar! It's interesting to write this because my friend Lisa has experienced similar behavior from her little guy lately, who is just six months younger than Hannah. You would think that the sunny, beautiful weather would decrease the amounts of tantrums & difficult behavior because the kiddos get to run around, be free, and feel the wonderful effects of Vitamin D. This does not appear to be the case.
Saturday was a particularly bad day, and by afternoon I wound up "running away"...to the back deck...where I promptly dissolved into tears over the frustration of dealing with Hannah's tantrums, disobedience and disrespectful tone. I can't even really pinpoint a specific event or reason, but all I remember is feeling like the day was spiraling down, down, down, until I finally felt completely defeated & discouraged with 1) my parenting ability and 2) Hannah's behavior, since I had begun to feel like it was getting better in the last couple weeks!
Now, please don't worry about my own safety (or Hannah's, for that matter), because I am doing SO much better today. In fact, after having a good cry on the back deck and soaking in the sunshine (thank you, Lord, for sunny days--it truly makes everything better!), I was able to come back inside, regroup, and have a good little talk with Hannah about why I was crying. She was very sweet when she realized I was crying, and asking in her gentlest voice "Mommy, are you okay? Why are you crying?" When I told her I was feeling sad because she wasn't obeying me, she said "It's okay, Honey. After I'm done with my quiet time, I'll come down and talk to you ." :) (Ironically, she was in quiet time because of her aforementioned behavior, and it was during her quiet time that she acted the most reasonable, kind, and compassionate toward me.)
After having such a hard day, I went right to the Lord and asked Him to help me figure out what to do! I am trying to turn to Him first when I have such difficult days, and that does help immensely. On Sunday at church, my sweet friend Kim told me she & her daughter were committing to praying for Hannah. That was such an answer to prayer because partly I just need to know people are on my "team," praying for me on my behalf & keeping Hannah bathed in prayer.
Now that a few days have gone by, I've also pulled out some other resources that I've been meaning to look into. One is "Growing Kids God's Way," which is an older but tried-and-true approach to, well, raising kid's God's way. ;) I like the principles I've read so far, even just in the introduction, and it addresses the issue of respect for adults that tends to get lost in today's world, where the "Mister and Missus" titles have all but disappeared from kids' vocabularies. Of course it goes into much more than just that, but I think ultimately, that is part of the problem with "kids today"--they've lost respect for their elders. (Man, that makes me sound like some old grandma. But obviously, kids didn't just lose that respect on their own; they've been trained by...well, guess who?) Oops--hope I'm not opening a big can of worms here...
The other is the Love & Logic book and CD's. Another dear friend, Sara, actually teaches that course to parents, so I'm heading straight to the experts! ;) I've watched her incorporate the ideas of Love & Logic into her own parenting, and I've seen the benefits, so I'm willing to try it. The thing I really like about L&L, as I'll call it, is that it encourages choices for kids where it's okay for them to choose! (For example, the one I've been using today is: "Do you want to leave the park now or in five minutes?") It's not necessarily letting them choose anything different than what you are already planning; more about letting them feel some control, when in actuality, they are not. Haha--that sounds more devious than I meant it to...
Anyway, I'll be interested to see where this next chapter takes us, both literally and figuratively! Since Hannah starts preschool in about a month (eek!), I would really like to get a handle on some of these behaviors so that every morning or non-preschool day is not a big fight. :)
In spite of the days that get me on my knees (which certainly isn't a bad thing), I know Hannah is one smart cookie, and that she has a lot going for her. She is funny, sweet, and imaginative, and she says the cutest things. Tonight she whispered "You are my special mommy and I love you very much." (We were trading secrets before bed.) I love it when she says her bedtime prayers, and that she is always asking questions about how the world works. She loves to talk on the phone to anyone, and she can carry on quite the conversation--all while walking around the room & gesturing like any adult! :) She is loving to her little sister, and she gives great hugs & hello's when anyone comes home after being gone even a half hour. Overall, I know she is a precious little girl, and I marvel at how big she is looking. (I know, too, that that will not stop.) Here's a quick picture that I took of Hannah today, just because she looked so old. I'll leave you with that, and please be praying for me as I work on this mommy thing. :)